Great Dating Moves For Women (with Examples)

by | Emotional Intelligence

Sometimes, a few strategic moves (that may or may not go against the general common dating advice) can make all the difference in your outcomes when dating.

In this blog article, we’re diving into some of the great moves that women have employed to build more attraction in the dating phase.

Before the Date: Strategic Submissiveness (the First Text)

Albeit “submissiveness” has a bad connotation in our culture, that’s not how it works in dating.

In dating, female submissiveness is a simple way of saying, “So far, I like you.”

It’s very emboldening for men and it can be used strategically, even from early on.
Look at this example of a great first text reply:

good first text reply for women

Me: “My name’s Lucio, save my number :)”


Her: “Yeah, I did :)”

The power dynamics here were: me telling her what to do, and her confirming she did it. Plus the coy emoji.
Both are strong signs of submission.

If you really like a man, this is a great way to encourage him to take the next steps and a very good way of potentially starting a romance.

Men are much more likely to invest and pursue women who give them positive signs, and less in women who are playing hard to get. Unless the man was obviously incredibly into you and was already chasing hard, playing hard to get early on is often a bad idea.

Before the Date: Setting the Date (Scheduling)

I often make the point that much of the dating advice for women is not only plain wrong but sometimes even harmful.

Over-gaming and exaggerated attempts of making him chase are often an example of bad dating games and poor dating strategies (take a look in the dating section for women and you’ll see why or see the science behind it here).

What could be a different approach, then?

Radical Honesty (& Dropping The Games)

Sometimes I meet women who are so honest, frank, and natural that it’s like a breath of fresh air.

How does that look?
I’m glad you ask.
Look at this example:

Granted, in this case, we had already been intimate, but this was still very fresh (only a couple of weeks), so I went in to set up the date/meet playing the game of hiding my interest.

That’s what I’m often used to. Or, shall we say, conditioned to because, well…that’s the game 99% of women also play.

But the moment a man meets that 1% woman who’s not shy of showing her beautiful self, with her honest interest and attraction included, that’s pretty special (also read: how to escalate investment for mutually supportive relationships).

It was true that my mom was going to be here for a while and I was going to be away, but the simple fact that I made sure to frame my request with that information shows that I was being very defensive.

And when a man is being defensive but willing to meet you, that’s the perfect moment to show him with actions and facts that he can drop the games (just like the lady in the text did).

An Example of Female Power

Also note that although I was very glad to receive this text, this was also a big social slap in the face for me.

Her behavior was very powerful and leader-like and it changed the whole dating dynamics (also check out how to be feminine and powerful at the same time).

From here on, I knew that I didn’t need to play games.
And let me tell you: an intimate relationship without dating power games is SO much more fulfilling and liberating. And we got there so much quicker thanks to her.

If that’s not a great example of positive leadership, I don’t know what it is.

But, Don’t Drop All Games

This shouldn’t be needed, but just to be sure: this is not a recommendation to drop all games and always be honest, frank, and vulnerable.

“Never play games” doesn’t even make sense anyway.
It’s in our very nature to portray our best selves and that’s a sign of quality.

But there can be such a case of “too many games”.
Especially with men who are more emotionally intelligent and quickly grow tired of games.

This is why, in this day and age, and especially if she’s interested in high-quality men, overtures of full honesty can win the day and make the difference between bitterness and a lovely relationship (or night).

After the Date: Feminine, High-Class Expressions for Sex

I have met a few ladies in my life whose beautiful, unique…even poetic choices of words stuck with me forever.

As a matter of fact, their choice of words actually made me like them even more and made me respect them even more.

Here are three of them which will help you come across as higher-quality women in the bedroom if you decide to sleep with that cool guy after the date:

Her: “Are you never tired?”

Talking about erections, of course.

What a lovely expression.
You’re always horny” sounds almost accusatory.
Are you always hard” is great when you want to dial up the heat.

But nothing beats “are you never tired” when you want to go classy. 
Say it while you hold his private part, and you get an explosive mix of class and sexual mischief.

And of course, this works even better when he’s not getting it up!
“Are you tired” saves his face just like Dale Carnegie recommends and sounds so much better than… Pretty much anything else!

Her“Look how much happiness”

LOL, this was simply genius.

Referring to vaginal lubrication. 
She put my hand on her cheek and came up with that memorable expression.

God, I miss that lady :).

Her“Now take me as hard as you can”

We were at our last leg of the following combination:

  • From top, to from behind, to her on top, to me on top again 

And she wanted to finish off with a bang.

And at that point, there is nothing wrong with “fuck me as hard as you can”. As a matter of fact, it’s a powerful, primally carnal wonderful expression.

But when you want to go classy, nothing beats “take me”.

And while I forgot a lot of “harder”, “faster” and “fuck me”, I will never forget that “take me”.

Which is also reminiscent of the touchingly beautiful “Wind of Change”:

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night

Yep, I miss that woman too 🙂

After the Date: Getting Him to Invest

In “dating strategies for women” we said that signals of “exploitability” are attractive to men.

Exploitability signals can be further improved with early honest vulnerability and “playing selectively hard to get“.

Here is an example:

text example to make good invest in women

She sends off a powerful aura of “take care of me”. Extremely attractive to many men.

This is great for women who are looking for long-term relationships and providers.

It touches on a lot of signals that men look for:

  1. Shows extreme vulnerability (no fear in admitting to being lonely)
  2. Shows high exploitability (being so frank so early in it’s either a potential red flag…or an easily exploitable person)
  3. Shows she is selectively hard to get (only interested in men who stick around)
  4. Indirect signals of faithfulness (girls like that usually fall in love and stick around with the provider type)

Signals of “piousness” in women often run against raw sexual attraction (see the Madonna-whore dichotomy).
But the beauty of this strategy is that it works on both levels of sexual attraction, and making men want to commit.

It works perfectly for what psychologist Shawn Smith calls “good men”, such as men who are driven in life, but also driven to provide and defend their “nest”.

The downside?
Women using it can feel like it requires them to give away all of their personal power and independence.
Relationships with this frame end up being less of a relationship of equals, and more about the man in charge, carrying most of the responsibility to provide and take care of the family.
Which is why SO few women use it, especially in the West.

On the other hand, it does work extremely well.

Also, note that this can be a very effective frame to demand commitment very early on.


To wrap up this dating exploration, check out:

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